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The Empty Bundy 1997-2002

Legend and Semi Cult Figure
Known Habitat
Prefered Food
Favorite Hunting Places
Tracking the Creature
Hidden Observation
Method of Transportation
Returning to Lair
The Land of the Red Couch
The Tipoff
Missing Observers
Footnote

Observed Modes of Operation

Mode 1 Radio/Attract
Mode 2 Hunt/Attack
Mode 3 Build it/Go Faster
Mode 4 Sex/Bliss
Mode 5 Net/Gamer
Mode 6 Hypno/Vege

Creature during Mode 2/4

Empty Bundy in Mode 2/4
Proof of Mode 4 Operation?

Required Funny Voice for Reading

Please read in a Funny high pitched english upper class clipped speech pattern type of voice

Let us now study the habitat of the Empty Bundy...

The Creatures Habitat

Until now this rare creature has successfully avoided detection. The first recorded sighting was in the early 1980's. Unconfirmed reports from this period indicate a fascination with high performance, vehicles, computers, or (especially) females of the species.

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The Empty Bundy I had chanced upon was based in Adelaide, South Australia.

Favorite Hunting Places

This one hunted the suburban areas. I had heard rumors of an Empty Bundy running around Adelaide. As much as I personally doubted the possibility of the existance of such a thing.

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Legend and Semi Cult Figure

The importance of locating and studying a legend and semi cult figure, convinced me to attempt contact. Futher reasearch indicated that Empty Bundy's operate CB radio's at intermittant intervals. There were rumours of this CB radio usage during the 1980's.

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Prefered Food

Also there were some strange reports made concerning a CB'er and a hotted up Bedford that frequented a Pizza Place near Port Adelaide. I decided that I should investigate immediately.

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Tracking the Creature

During the summer of 1997. I purchased a Ferris 5000 cb radio to attempt an "eyeball" with the creature. I remember the Ferris 5000 was alive with local and dx cb radio stations. I "eyeballed" numerous CB radio operators in my search. One day, after a QSO with a guy called "John" we decided to eyeball.

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The Tipoff

During that eyeball. I realized I was in the company of that rare of rarest creatures. A fair dinkum, no bu!!$#|=genuine, authentic, Male Empty Bundy! I think it was the Empty Bundy callsign that he used on the radio that eventually tipped me off.

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Mode 1 "Radio/Attract" Mode

While in it's company. I noticed a sudden increase in the agitation on the creature and realised that it was in Mode 1 "Radio/Attract" mode. I quickly realized my peril. Being a Male I knew that I was in no immediate danger from the creatures carnal instincts. So I attempted to assure this Empty Bundy that I had no computer peripherals or car parts of any shape or description. The Empty Bundy seemed very sceptical. I assured and reassured the creature. He seemed almost ready to attack. Thankfully, Just at that moment. A possible female Empty Bundy was detected by him on the CB radio. This distracted him from me. I quickly mumbled my departure to the "Bundy" and fled with my life intact.

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Hidden Observation

Once safely away from the creature. I decided to set up a "hide" to study this rare but dangerous creature. I very carefully followed the creature back to it's lair. This report is the result of numerous sightings and careful observance over a prolonged period of time.

A Male Empty Bundy seems to have 6 major modes of operation. Mode 1 is the "Radio/Attract" Mode. This strange operating mode of behaviour allows the empty bundy to lure its prefered prey to him. The prefered prey being High Performance Vehicles or car parts, Computer Components and/or Electronics of some kind, and most importantly. Young Female Empty Bundies of the species!.

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Mode 2 "Hunt/Attack" Mode

Once the various scents are detected. The Empty Bundy transforms into its second mode of operation. It's spinechilling Mode 2 "Hunt/Attack" mode.

"Swallow my Sword!" and "Bitten on the funnel by a finger web spider!" you will hear on the CB radio. Beware! as this is an Empty Bundy in Mode 2 "Hunt/Attack" mode.

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Method of Transportation

In this second mode Mobile operation is generally performed. Rare vehicles of some sort are normally used. This particular Empty Bundy was observed using a transformed Bedford Van or equally modified 351 F100 as its prefered transport.

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Returning to Lair

It only returned to its lair after a successful hunt. Once safely back in the lair. The creatures final 4 modes may be observed. Upon arrival the creature connects its latest aquisition to other previously collected materials. Electronics or otherwise.

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Mode 3 "Build it/Go Faster" Mode

Mode 3 "Build it/GoFaster" Mode. Where Cars/Vehicles and car parts are normally worked on and/or connected to other vehicles/car parts that are available.

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Mode 4 "Sex/Bliss" Mode

If the aquisition was a female of the species. The creature will go into Mode 4 "Sex"/"Bliss" mode. Which has never been really seen due to the creatures unique ability to transfer itself and it's prey to the "Land of the Red Couch".

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Missing Observers

Note: Due to this creatures insatiable appetite for Vehicles/Components/Women. Being unable to personally undertake the 24 Hour 7 day a week study that this rare creature deserves. I have organized a dedicated bunch of enthusiasts who have been actively involved in the study of Mode 4 of the empty bundy.

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The Land of the Red Couch

The Observers so far have been unable to penetrate the high security of the "Land of the Red Couch". Attempts to do so have never been reported. Note the high level of MIA (Missing in Action) among the Empty Bundy observer ranks. More observers are urgently required.

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Mode 5 "Net/Gamer" Mode

Mode 5 "Net/Gamer" mode is activated only if hardware, electronics, or software was located during Mode 2. While in Mode 5. An Empty Bundy will install hardware, electronics, or software. The time spent at this task is directly proportional to the direct financial outlay associated with the item.

Some observers have reported an unconfirmed mode of operation during Mode 5. Rumors of attempted Mode 4 conversions have been suggested. It seems this creature may be able to operate in a Mode 4/5 function. This is exciting news and if confirmed may shed some light on the activities confined to the Land of the Red Couch".

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It can be hard to detect the change from Mode 5 to Mode 6.

Mode 6 "Hypno/Vege" Mode

The Empty Bundy will normally fall into Mode 6 "Hypno/Vege"" after the previous activities. In this mode the Empty Bundy sits itself in front of one of the many monitors that litter its suburban dwelling. There in Mode 6 "Hypno/Vege". The creature will finally slumber.

CB radio turned on in the background, microphone in its hand, Kiss playing on the stereo. The Empty Bundy absorbs huge amounts of various low level frequencies and/or radiation. Which it will suffer for many hours before final daily collapse. Another day is done. Sleep well Empty Bundy. Tomorrow you have another day.

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Footnote

This particular Empty Bundy is still under study. And can be located on Channel 12, Repeater 1 or 3 on the UHF CB Radio (But still not 27Megs) in and around Adelaide, South Australia. You have been warned!

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Empty Bundy at Work!

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The result of hard work?

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